I've to admit. I'm stumped. It's not a case of me not being inspired enough about having anything to say on my Blog today. On the contrary, I have too much on my mind! I'm not sure that you'd be too excited about reading all the balderdashing rubbish, so I'm gonna lay off there.

Instead I'm going to annoy you with more of my Blog-talk.

I'm quite proud of how my Blog is looking so far. Look at how much Yours Truly, an absolute numb nut, have learned these past few days! I've added some of my favourite links, other links that you might also find useful, added photos, tweaked the HTML template (which didn't mean a thing to me before) and my biggest milestone as yet...my very own forum in the LoobzForum column on the right. Wow... . It even has a chat function! If this was my career I'd be flying!

I do realize though, that I wouldn't have come so far without the existence of women. Yes, women.

At 17, I was the only geek in the world who didn't like computers. I often wondered why my 4th Sis Liana was always on the computer "chatting" away with her "friends" on ICQ and IRC. It did look fun but I couldn't see the point.

One day, I couldn't take the curiosity and had to ask. She lovingly showed me the wonders of the Internet, gently holding my hand as I quivered with the mouse and patiently answered all my queries just like any sweet sister would.

From that moment on she didn't stand a chance on the computer. You'd need a forklift truck to pry me away from the screen!

Now a week ago, I chanced upon Melody's Blog journal on the moms4moms forum
but I didn't give it much thought then until I came across Patricia's Blog journal on her friendster.com the day after. I put 2 and 2 together and found that there's actually such a thing as weblog jounalizing going on like in Sex and The City.

I've always wanted to write something like this. I had a Book on Thoughts but I find penning thoughts tedious... what more with my atrocious handwriting. Besides, I'm neither a writer nor an author or an editor so I didn't find penning anything a necessity.

On my very 1st day of creating my new Blog, I was fortunate to have caught Ratna aka Big Momma online. She just happens to be a web designer so ever the opportunist, I bombed her Yahoo! Messenger with my endless Blog-gin' questions. Great tips and real help she gave. And Melody too. I really appreciate it and I can't thank them enough. Both their recommendations are on the Cool Blogging Tools column.

So uh, what did they say about the "behind every successful man, there's a woman" thing? Hah! I may not be successful (yet) but I sure have more women backing me up than that guy in the metaphor did!

Have your say HERE

Look at the time. Wait. Look at the date!

Now that the new year is drawing near I have to ask myself, "Whatever happened to 2003"?

Let's back track a little. I spent the 1st half of this year serving the last 6 months of my National Service in 1st Guards. That is definitely an experience that I would be harping to my grandchildren about. It is heartening to be able to comprehend the concept that something big can be achieved if everyone, down to the last man, just do their own little part. It certainly wasn't a bed of roses but on a personal note, I am glad to say that I made it.

Everything kind of went southwards after that part was over.

There was however a little bump in the chart between June and October. After the army in June, I re-joined the restaurant where I used to work before I enlisted in the service. My starting wage was a little more than the going rate and I was delighted.

2 months later, some of the top people there left to join forces with some top people from one of the Fortune 500 hotels to start a new cafe and pulled me along.

Less than 2 month after that I was told I was the top candidate for promotion and therefore had to take on more responsibilities which I willingly did although there was no change in the wage department.

And in November, I left.

Things got too political and I felt I had no place in an organization where an employee's abilities are confused with the colour of his skin. It hurt to learn that I was literally being used all those times but I have to understand that these things do happen and I simply had to move on.

Moving. On. Now that's something I haven't been successful in doing since my resignation.

I've run out of ideas of where else to look for a job. I've met people, called the numbers in the classified ads, checked out the jobsites on the Internet, sent my resumes to people who didn't even advertize for any job opening, asked around for leads... .

What else haven't I done? What could I have done in place of what I already have? What could I have done better?

That's how I think my 2003 will end. Questions to myself.

With 2004 breathing down my neck, my being unemployed should be a foregone conclusion. I do hope that I'm wrong this once. I really do.

I'm looking forward to start afresh this new year. Get a job, get that degree, get the girl, get the girl's girl... . Things will definitely fall in place once I get that job, but for now it's still a cause for concern.

Have your say HERE

Do you realize how ridiculous it would be to suggest that we are the only beings in the whole entire universe? It is such a massive waste of space! It's a crime!

Where is my prove though? Got me there. I have none.

However, I am absolutely confident that you'd agree with me on this next point.

The world got even smaller after that guy found the Internet. Because of this wonderful invention, we can now get things done even at the comfort of our own homes in our pajamas. Booking of cinema tickets, paying our fines, getting a date to go out with(!!!), settling the utility bills and especially, especially to keep in touch with our loved ones from all parts of the world (I'm assuming of course that you do not have any loved ones outside the world). The possibilities are endless.

Just today I got around to souping up my Blog with the guidance of someone whom I only got to know recently via the Internet. How superb is that? A day ago if you asked me about adding links and pictures into your Blogspot, I would have died from spontaneous combustion induced from system overload!

So this whole theory only adds one more reason as to justify why I should be getting that Fujitsu C2220 I've been eye-ing on.

You knew I was getting there didn't you..? Heh heh. You read me like a book.

I'll keep you posted. ;)

Have your say Here

People the world over have their own sets of problems and worries.

Somewhere in The Bahamas there's a rich guy who can't decide which lady to bring home tonight. There's an old scruffy lady in Belarussia who's trying to scrape together some money to get more vodka. In a small village in Madagascar, a 12 year old boy had just found out that he has no interest in (GASP!) girls.. .

And then there's me

I'm starting to get battle-weary. It's bound to happen at some point.

I woke up this morning with an enthusiastic air of "carpe diem" only for it to be deflated within the following 3 minutes. I didn't even have time to pick up my toothbrush. Adding to my list of misery was the news that my mom, who's in Australia, had left my eldest sister's home...on her birthday.

Quote. Yippee. Unquote.

Oh well. It's not like there's a lot I could do. If I had money I would have flown my butt there double quick time to help ease things a little but, sigh... moving on.

This Blog is starting to be more depressing.

Last night, by a stroke of luck, I met a lady on an Internet forum for mommies. Found out she works as a manager in a computer manufacturing facility so I asked if I could send my resume for her to forward to her colleague in logistics. She agreed. This could be my saving grace.

*Note: I'm only at the moms4moms forum to check out how to handle being a parent from the experts and not to pick up chicks. Besides, I'm not their type. :)

I'm currently undergoing a Diploma -> Degree program in Logistics Management at the The Turning Point Business School. I figured it would be a great idea to find a job along the same line so in time I could grow both theoretically and in hands-on experience.

This is it.

In the army, they'd call this the last burst of fire. That's when they realize they have only a few rounds of ammo left, fire at will, make a hasty retreat and pray for the best.

That is exactly how it feels right this moment.

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What a bummer.

Not only am I broke I'm also hopeless in relationships.

I was introduced to this particular girl by my step brother half a year ago. He made it perfectly clear to me that this girl, Missy, was a single mom but to be honest, it didn't put me off in the slightest manner at all. On the contrary, it was kind of a turn on in an inexplicable way.

I didn't react much then. I found out she'd just got divorced about 2 weeks after her Baby was born. My senses told me I should just sit back and allow the dust to settle down. I knew she was at a difficult point of her life. Whenever I saw her, I could sense the sadness in her eyes and wondered what I could do to ease her pain.

I finally got around to saying hello to her about a month ago. We met a few times, talked a few times and I managed to get myself invited for both her and Baby's birthday party as well. They both share the same birthdays! I think that's really something. Missy was turning 21 and Baby was turning a year old...both were about to cross significant stages in their lives.

I'm not one who you'd find in places where the music is loud and/or where it's crowded, so it's quite a personal feat for me to find myself at the party. Thankfully it was quite sane. It was also a worldly wonder to find myself having spent quite a bomb (by my own standards) in getting a gift for the baby. When was the last time I spent on anything? Much less something that cost a bomb? No wait. When was the last time I went shopping alone to get a gift for a kid!?

I must admit that it was quite a challenge to find something that'd fit my meagre budget that would also impress (for want of a better word) Missy. The whole shopping experience felt good, really. I could see myself shopping for kids' stuff forever and ever then.

The following night, at their party, I saw Baby for the 1st time. I thought she was beautiful. Adorable. A gem. So tiny. So cute. She looked like a right Californian sushi roll in her dress...and then I saw her mom.

I was strucked dumb so hard I could literally hear the sound effect. She was sensual in her tight black dress. I had to grab a hold of something while trying my best to look suave. I found myself unable to look at her straight in the eyes as we made small talk. My knees were crumbling and I was mumbling my words.

I somehow managed to pass her Baby's gift and slip in a weak attempt at being witty with, "Heh heh, sorry I didn't get you anything. By the time I got Baby's gift, I was too broke".

I tried not to bother her that night but I caught her stealing glances at me every now and then as I was stealing glimpses of her time and again. Oh well. I spent most of the night chatting with my step brother instead.

Days have past since the party. I find myself thinking of her and Baby quite often. We still keep in touch. We still talk. I try to take my time with her and be patient.

Sometimes I wish I could read her mind to understand what she's thinking. Other times I hope to touch her heart to comprehend how she's feeling. There are times I feel deliberately left out. There are times I think she's having 2nd thoughts about me.

Missy, if you're reading this, I want you to know that I'll be staying around.

Have your say HERE