It's Soccer Saturday (and sometimes Sunday) on the tele so here I am posting earlier than usual.

Actually I've nothing much to say but since I just love the sound of my own voice, I'll just write a little piece for the heck of it. Ho ho!

I went for a haircut after work just now. It's my 1st haircut after the terrible one I was forced to take when I reported for reservist in-camp training on the 3rd of Jan. Unlike Sri Mas, my haircut is still.....terrible. I might have to go to North Carolina to get a decent haircut from someone who can cut Asian hair.

Wait a minute! I am in Asia!

I don't know. I've never had a proper haircut in my life before. No one listens. My hair's not straight. I can't decide if it's wavy or curly. Everytime I walk into a hair salon or a barber shop, the stylist would automatically assume I wanna get rid of my lovely curls (or waves..who cares???) and cut my hair real short.

I walk into 10 salons and in 10 salons I say," Hi, I'd like to have a haircut ONLY. No wash, no massage. I want a high slope on the back and sides and please don't touch the top. "

That seemed simple enough doesn't it? I imagine I'm talking to a kid all those times and what do I get? A real short haircut to get rid of my curls (or.....nevermind!).

I want my curls! I want my hair to be rowdy! What's the problem with all these people???

On hindsight though, the stylist asked how come I don't wear contact lenses. I said I just recently started wearing spectacles to stop spending on them. She said it's a shame coz I am handsome and look better without spectacles. Ha ha ha! Really!

But I'm still angry with her though for her shoddy job. Grrr... .



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I actually got paid for 11 days' of work today. It's not much but it's more than I calculated. Maybe I grossly underestimated my calculations in order not to be disappointed or maybe my Maths is just terribly bad!

That leaves me enough money to pay off the handphone bill and get the printer. Man, I already have school assignments sent to me but I just can't print them out. Urgh!

Anyway, the money won't be in till 4 days later due to the upcoming non-working days.

I gave Wang a call just now after he text messaged (SMS in some countries' lingo) me saying that his mom wouldn't be cooking dinner. Usually we eat at his mom's place or he packs some home for us. I told him that tonight's dinner was on me but I'd have to use his money 1st. He said OK.

Me and Wang, we have a cool relationship. It stemmed from a deep hatred we both had for each other yeeeeears ago (maybe it was just me haha!) and now he's married to my sis and I live at his house. Karma I tell you. I'll talk about it in detail some other time.

Both him and Lilies have been treating me well ever since I moved in after I left the army mid last year. Every now and then I show a special kind of appreciation on top of the daily things that I do. So tonight's dinner was nothing. If we were gonna be calculative, I could be treating them out for meals the whole week and still not be able to pay up!

Situation report:

1) Will see GP tomorrow about my horrible toe.

2) Will collect the PC from my friend's place by next Monday.

3) Will call Kenneth "my" insurance agent by this Sunday to straighten things out.

4) Will collect my printer by next Wed tops.

5) Will get the Broadband connection up and running by next weekend.

6) Will work on ideas for this sales project I've been offered to do.



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Email exchange with "my" insurance agent:

---Start--->

Hi Lubis,

Sorry that i took awhile, yes you do have a plan call HealthShiled with AIA. It is a hospital and surgical coverage plan. Its worth $900,000 and the premium is deducted from your CPF medisave account annually.


Kenneth

From: "Lubis Ratno Red"
To: kennethkwok81@hotmail.com
Subject: Insurance enquiry
Date: Fri, 16 Jan 2004 05:56:31 +0000




---
Get 10mb more e-mail space with Hotmail Extra Storage
From :
Lubis Ratno Red

To :
kennethkwok81@hotmail.com

Subject :
Insurance enquiry

Sent :
Friday, January 16, 2004 5:56:31 AM


Dear Mr Kwok

My name is Lubis Ratno (7925332D). I am just wondering if I actually have an AIA policy obtained through you.

Months ago, you approached me at Woodlands MRT station and put my name up on some papers saying that whatever you did won't affect anything. Please respond.



Lubis R.

---The End--->

A lot of people say that I'm naive, gullible and too trusting. Frankly I don't dispute them. The above email exchange would have given you an idea why.

About mid 2003, I was at Woodlands MRT station waiting for a friend when this guy, Kenneth Kwok, an insurance agent approached me. I gave him the time of the day. I've always had my suspicions on these insurance people but on that day, I made a snap decision to just listen out to what he had to say.

Boy, what a mistake. I was stupid enough to fill up some forms. I was assured that nothing would be processed without my prior approval. MONTHS later, 2 weeks ago, I had this funny feeling something was fishy and decided to clarify with this guy on it. I couldn't believe I actually had to ask!

I don't mind if the AIA Healthshield policy does me some good but I don't condone the manner of which he tries to improve his sales target. It's MY money! I've heard enough horror stories about the state of the insurance industry in Singapore to have my doubts. And this guy's under-handed tactics isn't helping.

I've asked this guy, Kenneth for an explanation. Failing which I'll report him to the relevant authorities. I don't think I'm the only one in these shoes. This guy needs to have his wrists slapped.

In the meantime, please share with me your experience, advice, any sort of word you may have regarding this matter. I'm trying to handle this issue in a dignified manner.



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I can't take the in-grown toe nail anymore. It's killing me. I actually have to walk with a limp now to avoid stepping on the toe. It hurts like HELL.



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It's almost midnight and my eyes are sooo tired.

The whole day was tough. We had these visitors from India and France who were here to inspect the computer parts and accessories that they ordered. Shipments to India are always a bitch. The custom checks there are super strict. If one inventory that goes there does not match any part of the document it came with, it gets kicked right out of India. That costs more money. It's not as straightforward as I make it to be.

Anyway the inspections shouldn't have been done at OUR warehouse since we deal in air freight. They should have come earlier when the shipment was still in the manufacturing facility's warehouse. We had to undo everything that was already nicely packed and shrink-wrapped. Half of the things that was done were very unnecessary as they're done by top people who know nuts about the little people's jobs. The fact that a couple of our guys were absent from work also added to our misery. We were shorthanded.

I only had a few slices of kueh lapis the whole day. I was so damn hungry that I gulped down my dinner the moment I reached home after class.

I'm getting the hang of going to class. I was afraid I was gonna miss it when I realized the amount of things I had to do at work but I managed. One of the reasons why I really don't wanna miss class is that I've noticed that the lecturer often gives hints that could help during the exams later on.

He also hinted that we will be relying heavily on the computer to get some assignments done including to publish a book on logistics during our Advance Diploma course. At the moment this PC I'm using is being shared by 3 people so it's not always convenient. I just need something that I can type, print and do research with.

Oh yeah before I forget. I had a chance to chat a bit with one of my ex army mates who happens to work there in the same building and he said he has an old PC to get rid off. Yay! I'm sure Ratna's happy to know that it's an Acer. He said he'd get back to me on the specifications. Oh Lordie, please make this happen.



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So sad, so sad. Such a sad, sad situation.

My sis Liana said there was a misunderstanding about the whole PC issue so it still stay hers. Oh well.

I'm gonna have to discuss a new strategy with Wang on this. He's my mentor.

Here's an announcement. I'm gonna work my ass off from tomorrow. Gonna clock overtime as and when possible. Gonna be kiasu* like never before. If nothing else, it's a great way to learn things hands on to make myself even more indispensable to my company. Of course the money is also a pull factor but I'm sure you knew that anyway.

My company is still known as Emery Worldwide currently. The name-change won't take effect till Feb this year. There's a whole lotta reshuffling going on. By then, we'd be known as Menlo Worldwide and the dreaded R word will emerge from the shadow.

The dreaded R word. Retrenchment.

As I've gathered, more than half of the warehouse staff will be retrenched in Feb. The new guys like me are actually brought in to replace these guys. How cruel this world. I mean where is the love when these to-be-retrenched people are actually asked to train us new guys who are actually replacing them...? It's like paying someone to kill yourself.

*Kiasu = afraid to lose mentality very much associated with Singaporeans. Really. Seriously.


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Wang, Lilies, Heidi and I set out hunting for Heidi's swing and Mr Bean cartoon VCDs today. We went all over the place from Sengkang to Tampines to Toa Payoh. Thank God we found THE ONE swing at Toa Payoh. It's really something. Couldn't find the Mr Bean VCDs though.

Wang and I nearly got into a fight with a gang of young punks on freestyle bikes at Tampines.

We just got off the bus from Sengkang went this idiotic gang of 6 or so whizzed pass us on the pavement. A couple of them actually caused the bus driver of the bus behind us to hit the jam brakes to avoid hitting them as they deliberately jumped off the pavement onto the road in front of the bus and then back up in a split second.

As far as I'm concerned, pavements are for pedestrians and roads are for vehicles. There's no place for bicycles so cyclists should give way. I always do when I'm cycling. It's an unwritten rule.

Wang was gripping Heidi. We all stopped in our tracks. Both Wang and I detest cyclists who speed on pavements. These suckers could have hit us namely Heidi. I knew he was gonna do something and he did.

As the last guy was whizzing by, he stuck out and elbow. The guy nearly fell off his bike onto the road in front of the bus. He stopped some meters ahead of us still in shock turned around and gestured "why?". Wang and I were busy serenading him in French to care about anything else. People were watching.

After a while, the guy rode off to join his friends. That was the best decision he's ever made in his young life. And for us too. Heidi was still in Wang's hands and Lilies was there as well. We didn't want them to get hurt.

We carried on.

Anyway it was plain painful to go shopping and not get anything for myself. Obviously this was the best time to shop shop SHOP what with all the post-Chinese New Year sales going on everywhere. Sigh... .

That's alright. I've planned to spend wisely anyway. 1st up on my spending list is to clear my handphone bill and to get a HP PSC 1110 all-in-one for my school assignments.

I wish I could say something else like watching a movie or people-watching at a cafe but seriously not now.

Got to hang on.



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I think I'm handling my new job pretty well. My supervisor actually let me handle all the export shipments by myself today. I'm so smart. :P

Talking about work, I actually got hit by a pallet jack which was hit by a stacker today. My friend, Rosli was driving the stacker when he misjudged a turn. I just got my jeans washed and now it's ruined, damn it!

Oh you wanna know what happened to me? Nothing really, I landed a little under the wheel of the pallet jack. I just got up and laughed the incident off. My jean's a mess though. You can't begin to imagine the amount of grease they put on those wheels...SHEESH. I don't know what made me decide to put on my old slip-ons today but I'm glad I did. Thank goodness for small miracles.

Rosli was apologizing away but I told him it's not a big deal. The main thing is that nobody died. Let's get back to work.

This incident reminds me of the car crash I was in on Dec 2002.

>>FAST FORWARD>>

The car we were in was a mangled mess. All the windows were shattered and its front and back was bent upwards like a banana. Miraculously, all 4 of us walked out alive. We didn't even scream. Not a squeak. It happened in a flash. There was no time for that.

Since that day, I've become a more spiritual person. I don't know what the other 3 guys think but I felt God had a plan for me. I've been looking deeper into every single thing. Signs, hidden messages, prophecies, karma, the likes. I've also decided since then to become an even better person.

And I'm still working on it.



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First off, I'd like to apologize for not posting anything for a while. My PC is driving me up the wall. It keeps breaking down. Think the problem is solved now except that now I have to make do without both MSN and Yahoo Messengers. They screw up the system.

That's the 1st thing I've been wanting to bitch on. There are 2 others.

I have this in-grown toenail thing going on and it's been hurting for the longest time. Ever since the latter half of my army days. Don't know how I've managed all these while coz I sure as hell can't stand it any longer. It's been cutting me from the inside of my right toe and causing it to bleed especially when I pound the pavements on my morning runs. Think I'm gonna have to pull it out.....the nail, not the toe... .

There's this other new guy at work, Ibrahim. Gotta give it to him that he's a nice guy who's looking for a decent living just like I am but he was especially annoying at work on Wednesday.

I don't wanna come across as being too judgemental. Maybe I'll talk about this again some other day but for now, all I'd say is that usually, empty cans make the loudest noise.

That's the end of my bitchin'. How have your Chinese New Year been so far? Mine was mundane. I got 8 bucks in my hong bao. Better than I expected, which was actually none at all.

Something hit me this morning. As I was running in my neighbourhood, I passed by many burnt paper offerings to many a loved one who have passed on as well as a funeral at one of the apartment blocks. So on this day, as we all celebrate, I remind myself to spare a thought for these people too.

Cheers!

*I understand that some of my fans *chuckle* aren't familiar with the Singapore-oriented jargons in this blog so please feel free to zonk me about them. No worries.




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I woke up this morning with difficulty breathing, like an asthma attack. No biggie but at least you people know what probably hit me if I didn't come online for a long time all of a sudden!

At lunch today, the other new guy, Rosli asked, "Loobz, why you always never eat lunch?" I told him I was broke. I say it as it is. No point beating around the bush. I was so touched when he replied, "Actually I'd wanted to ask my wife to pack extra so I can share with you but I don't know what you'd think of that...". This coming from a family guy with 3 kids to feed. What's heartening to note is that we've both only just met. Anyway I just told him I wanna get used to it. What's a little hardship...?

For dinner though, I've just finished devouring 3 pieces of chili crab, a bunch of big steamed prawns and a bowl of seafood soup my sis Lilies packed for me from the Chinese New Year reunion dinner. For those not in the know, chili crab-devouring is a national past time and reunion dinner is like Thanksgiving Dinner.

Yeah, yeah I can read your mind. "What is this guy? A Malay, a Chinese, his name sounds Filipino or is it Indonesian? He looks like a Maori, no, a Hawaiian but from an angle he looks Chinese..." Blah blah blah.

My home is decorated with Malay-inspired florals and such on Hari Raya, we put up the Christmas tree and candles on duh, Christmas and now theres a pussy willow plant in my living room and a spring onion-like thingy hanging from our kitchen window...so you tell me. *ear to ear grin*

I didn't make it for the dinner coz I had class. Man, I had to travel from the far FAR east of Singapore to Dhoby Ghaut and then back home to Serangoon North after that. What a bummer but hey, I gotta get used to it.

I chatted with this guy from my class during break time. He lives in Sengkang which is around my area and he drives too :) . Besides that, he also told me he'd just applied for a sales position at Menlo! *light bulb on top of head again* I really hope he gets the job... .

Ok, I gotta hit the sack. My eyes are pleading with me to give them a break.



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Ok so everyone knows by now that today was my 1st day at my new job after 2 months of searching.

To be frank, I feel embarassed about telling the whole world what my job is about, but here I am... . I'm a material handler at a warehouse. My job is to sort computer and electronic parts and accessories for distribution. This is the same kind of job I held about 8 years ago. 8 years later, nothing changes except... .

To those who's bothered to browse through my blog since I started about a month ago, you'd know what's going through my mind. Nothing changes from 8 years ago except that I'm taking my life seriously now.

I have to resign myself to the fact that I'd have to set aside 4 hours of my life each day to and fro work but hey, at least I've got a job. Man, you cannot get anymore east in Singapore than that! One wrong step and you'd be swimming with the fishes.

There were 3 other guys who turned up for work besides me. Ibrahim, Rosli and this Indian dude, I forgot his name.

Everyone was trying to figure me out. I could see it in their eyes. I appreciate their effort for trying to speak English with me whenever they could even though I didn't insist. On my part I didn't want to come across as a snob so I tried my smattering of whatever I could...Malay, Mandarin, Hokkien. I get very jittery when I speak any other language besides English but at least we all tried today, didn't we?

Not that I'm saying anything but ever since I walked into the office this morning I already got heads turning my way. Heh. I spent my lunch making small talk with this lady from "upstairs" in the pantry. Just talk. I was asking for the best way to get to work :)

Work-wise, I'm not worried about myself. I've always known I can take on anything If I put my heart into it. There are so many things that fall under the term "logistics". Just like soccer, swimming, skydiving all fall under sports. The one that I was handling at work just now was more on "cross-dock" warehousing. Meaning, inventories stored in the warehouse are meant to be shipped out as soon as possible to minimize storage charges.

I'm sure there are lots of things I haven't seen yet but I'll just keep a cool head and flow with the go.

I've been thinking lately. Think I'm going to have to fit driving lessons into my schedule. I would like to go into sales (still in logistics) some time in the future and I'd need a driver's licence. That's where the money and opportunity to travel is. I'll see if that's viable. I've just started crawling and I'm already thinking of flying! *lol*



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I'm currently watching the English Premier League on TV so I'll make this short.

I'm pleased to announce that Alexa has given birth to a baby boy, Tyler and they're both doing well. Yay!

Oh yeah and Wolverhampton Wanderers beat Manchester United 1-0. The bottom team in the English Premier League just taught the big boys a lesson. I'm a Man U fan by the way. They deserved to lose. Credit given when credit's due. What happened to their sleek one-touch soccer? They're just too over-confident with all that fancy footwork in my un-humble opinion. Well, "Join the circus"! I say.

This proves that anyone can win if they put on a big-hearted effort. Doesn't matter how much loose change you have in your pocket, how many academic certificates you have stuck on your wall or how many lovers you've had in your lifetime.

Go Wolves!

So much for that now back to soccer.



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There couldn't have been a bigger slob than me today. After posting my earlier entry at the library, I went back home and proceeded to stuffing my face with any snack I could get a hold of and watched 3 movies back to back.

I'm not in a habit of discussing the movies I've just watched. I have such a short memory span. Anyway I watched Scary Movie 2, (now trying to remember the other 2 movies...see what I mean...?), oh uh, The Cat in the Hat as well as uh...urgh, uh...Mona Lisa Smile. I don't know what the hype is about Mona Lisa Smile, really.

4th Sis Liana, her Dutch boyfriend, Jelte (Yell-te) and his mom, Cora (Co-ra *chuckle*) came over just now. They were sending us their used fridge. Cora is a nice lady. She ends every sentence with an "ah". For instance, "Cute hamsters, ah. Are they both female, ah? Big ears they've got, ah". Ok I exaggerated a little but you get the drift. Think she likes my sis. Poor her. Ha ha!



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Hi folks,

I'm really sorry for not posting earlier. My PC decided to fall into a coma this time. Nothing my brother in law can't handle. It's his PC anyway.

Besides, because of that I'm also quite pissed at certain things. Although I've stated my intention to take over the Internet bills by paying this month's bills and to continue payment for as long as I live at his place, I'm still being limited from doing certain stuff like re-installing my Yahoo and MSN messengers. So I may limit myself from using his PC till the order for my Fujitsu laptop goes through or if that doesn't work out, till I'm somehow rich enough to get myself one.

2 days ago same time, same place, same seat as I am now at the Ang Mo Kio library I finally received my 1st positive news with regards to my job search. This company called Menlo Worldwide had offered me a job! Too bad I was at the library of all places because I really REALLY felt like screaming my lungs out in ecstasy, body surfing with the other library visitors and skipping around while singing a happy song!

They even offered me more in salary than what was said in the interview. To be frank though, I had 2 job offers within the past month that would've paid me more than this job but I turned them down. I felt they weren't in line with my future goals.

Sadly though, most of my family members do not support my vision. They do not agree that I should be taking my night classes in Logistics Management and should've just taken up any job that came my way earlier. This isn't the 1st time that I lack moral support from them. I've proved myself right before and I'm sure I can do it again.

Folks, I'm 25 this year. I've always told myself that I would never get married before I've established myself in my career. I don't want my family to go through what I have. I don't want them to worry about where their next meal is coming from, how to afford the school fees, which relative's house to bunk in for the week...etc.

Money is of course important but it's not the priority. To me, money is just a carrot at the end of the stick to push me higher and it's more important to be on that stick first. Being there signifies the fact that I now have my foot in the door to a bigger plan. Before yesterday I wasn't even near there but I'm glad to announce that I've signed a one year extendable contract with Menlo Worldwide as a material handler in the logistics department.

I could literally hear myself heave a HUGE sigh of relief when I signed on the dotted line. It marked the end of my job search and it meant that the ball of life could start rolling again for me.



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To all my dear fans *chuckle*,

I'M BAAAACK! Boy, it feels good to be on the comp again...

I just killed my computer so just bear with me not posting anything till I work something out alright. Please feel free to check out the other not-as-wonderful-as-mine Blogs on the left side...no the OTHER left. Yup, that one.

Oh yeah, link me if it pleases you coz I'll be back with a vengeance. At least I think so... *snigger*



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Whoa I had the weirdest dream last night.

I dreamt that I had a regular job, with regular pay. I actually had a girlfriend who treated me well. My night classes went well. I whizzed to and fro work and school in my pink Mini Cooper. Yes! I could drive!

I had a decent CD collection...as well as a DVD collection. I had a whole studio apartment where everything was white and chrome and sleek. The entertainment system was top class, complemented with only the best sound system and then *POOF* my alarm clock rang. 5 am. Time to go for my morning run... .

Darn.



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I'm currently watching this annual charity show on TV to raise funds for a Buddhist-run hospital called Ren Ci. Last year the show managed to pull in $4m worth of donations but sadly at the moment, it's only managed 10 times less than that with only a few minutes left.

For the record, my dad is permanently at the hospital seeking treatment. He became paralysed after being hit by stroke years ago.

I wouldn't say that my dad and I had the best of relationships. He is a good person but as a dad, he could have done better. He did try to change a few years prior to his stroke though, I'll give him that.

My relationship with him reached rock bottom after my parents divorced and I decided to delete him out of my life since then. I consider myself fortunate to have made peace with him years later. Little did I know he'd end up like he is now.

My grandma took care of me ever since I was born till I was around 9 years old. During that time, we were staying at an aunt's place. I regarded my grandma as my mom and my aunt's husband as my dad back then. It was hard for me to grasp that I had real parents some place else.

My parents and elder siblings did come by every now and then so that actually made the transition process back to my own family at the age of 9 easier. I was always glad to see my dad. He was the one who taught me how to use the fork and knife to eat during one of his visits. I'm sure he'd be disappointed to know now that I still prefer to use my fingers! Hah!

My grandma also helped by keeping me in the loop about the going-ons in my family. I remember her telling me stories about how my dad used to be one of the founding fathers of the Singapore Armed Forces. He was the Regimental Sergeant Major (RSM) of one of Singapore's 1st few battalions and even trained some of our present national leaders. He isn't only my daddy. He's the Big Daddy of our army too!

I remember how swell my dad looked in his army photos. Always proud in his army get-up. He even brought his habit over to his civilian life after he left the army to marry my mom. His clothes were always crisp and well-pressed, his hair was always short and neat, he still kept his fierce moustache and you'd need sunglasses to look at his shoes! No matter what type of situation he got himself in, he'd always make it a point to present himself well in a dignified manner. I learnt a lot from him just by watching.

My mom was in the army too. She was the hottest property. That's where they met. She used to tell me that my dad was a top bloke. Very popular among his men and commanders alike. He was a very understanding and charismatic man. He could have been a bad-ass monster in his position but he wasn't. At least he wasn't excessive. For instance, my mom used to tell me about this one time that one of his men was having a relationship problem with his girlfriend. My dad heard and told him to go out and win her back. Just like that. Nothing else. No fuss. Didn't even issue him a pass. Everyone was happy.

Every guy in the army wanted to be with my mom. Obviously the suitors came in hordes but frankly, in my mom's words, there was no competition. I think he used up all the luck in the men's side of the family. *Chuckle* Poor me.

Dating my mom should have come with a warning sign. There was one occasion that nearly turned ugly. Some civilian guys were jealous to see them both together and confronted my dad, not necessarily in a polite manner. My dad only had this to say, "If your intention is to beat me up, I would suggest you to finish me off too... coz if you allow me to live, I'd come back to hunt you down. If you think your gang here is big, try to think of how many truck-loads of men I can come up with...". They were wise to leave.

That had to be a classic.

The best thing he ever thought me was something from 13 years ago. I was quite a bright kid in primary school. I was always the top student in class. One day, to my horror I found out that I had failed my Maths test! At that time, anything below 70% was considered a failure and I actually managed to get 43% in that paper! I didn't know how to face the world, my dad especially. I dragged my feet all the way home after school plotting lies and plans and sub-plans along the way.

I had to tell him. He was going to find out anyway. So I did. I didn't lie but I was scared to death and shivering in my shorts. To my amazement he replied, "Is that it"? I went, "Yeah, aren't you going to scold me"? I almost said please (haha). "Did you give your best"? Of course I said yes. I always do I said. "Then that's enough for me". End of conversation. Wow. My dad is so cool.

My dad might not have been the best of dads around but he was actually teaching me in his own way and I'll be forever grateful for the positive things that I learnt from him.


!Achtung!: The Ren Ci Charity Show just ended 15 minutes ago and I'm very glad to announce that the total amount collected was *drumroll please* nearly 7 million dollars! It broke every record. I'm so touched to know that people still care after all in this turbulent times.



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I was going to follow up on yesterday's entry but I felt it was quite depressing so scratch that. Then I thought of arguing on one of my pet peeves, "The Ugly Singaporean - is it a fair tag placed on us?" but nah. In the end I've decided to write about, yawn, how my day went.

Well it's not that boring.

My mom came over to my place today. I've been avoiding her like the plague ever since she returned from Perth on New Year's Eve. Usually she'd grill me on my current situation and I was trying to avoid that.

To my astonishment, she was actually quite cool about it. It meaning me being broke, jobless and all.

To add icing on the cake she actually cooked for us too. Woohoo! It's been a long while since the last time and I actually kind of missed her food. She cooked more than we could handle. Fried bee hoon with everything on top, white rice, beef rendang, chicken curry, loads of chicken wings... . All those morning runs went down the drain, but it was worth it.

Besides that, I've also been tinkering with my Blog again. I was referred to the Blogger Forum by a friend and from there I got to learn a few more 3rd party add-ons. I tried most of them and decided to stick with just the search engine, a new hit counter, a new forum, a photo album, a polling system and a system that tells me how many visitors are online.

I'm a happy man except I might have screwed up the alignment a little in the process. Now the Blogspot ad banner and the Blogger button have moved from the bottom-most centre of my Blogspot to the bottom-most left. I'm just waiting for someone who (bothers to) read my Blog to let me know if for instance my whole page is distorted or something.


!Achtung!: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that I've conquered the major, MAJOR mountain of putting the ad banner and button back into their original spots. Oh no need to clap, please, please. Thank you. Oh thank you, thank you. You're too kind, really.



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I'm frustrated today. Depression sets in when I think of the accrued expenses that's just waiting for me like a tiger waiting to pounce. My expenses are accumulating as I speak and I'm almost at my wit's end.

My 2 fixed monthly expenses, school fees and rent are already $500. I've also got a loan to pay up. My next job will definitely not pay me much so I got to do something about this.

Of the variable expenses, I've already stopped spending on disposable contact lenses, going out and smoking (huge relief). Those add up to $370 and cigarettes alone cost me $250.

The next area I'm going to cut down would be my handphone connection (I'm also paying for my mom) after I get a job. That would strike off $60.

I'm pondering if I can still handle giving my mom an allowance. Assuming my next gross salary is $1000 (definitely not being optimistic here):

1000 - 200 (cpf) - 300 (sch fees) - 200 (rent) - 100 (transport)= 200

* I've not taken into consideration my loan payable ($1100 in total) and my mom's allowance ($x) in this equation.

So I've got $200/mth to play with and I have to be very, very, very wise on how to spend that amount. On another note, I'd only get in touch with the Financial Advisors/Planners that have been recommended to me when I get a job. I want to find out a little more about this investment thing called warrants.

My brother in law, Wang has just given me a name and number to call tomorrow about a possible job vacancy at Loyang. I hope to God that every call I make would be The One and this one is no different.

Inside, I'm crying. Every day I wake up closer to the edge. And every day I never stop trying. Being driven to the edge isn't a feeling I'd wish on anyone. But how long more do I have to take this?

How long more?



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Normally I'd only start writing after midnight but that would have to change. I need to reset my body clock to get more sleep If i'm going to start working again.

Here's a glimmer of hope. I have a job interview going on tomorrow morning and possibly 2 more after that. Now the best thing is, I'm not quite sure where the interview's going to be at. When I called up the company just now, it was already about 1750pm (near closing time) and I didn't want to keep the person at the other end waiting. I did get some details down like what bus to take, which building and I still have the number so I'm going to have to work with those.

Till tomorrow then.



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I've observed from a distance (a very big distance) that people are more and more concerned about losing weight these days.

Every inch of the media I come across would be talking about diets, all kinds of diets. Atkins, South Beach, The Cambridge Diet and so on. I would say these are for people who are disciplined enough to keep track of their own weight-loss progress. Frankly, I'm not the sort so I didn't even bother reading up on them.

Then there are the countless slimming programs provided by the oblivious slimming salons. They advertize everywhere! These are probably for people who can afford such programs which do not come cheap. I mean someone has got to pay for all those celebrity spokespersons right? And one wonders how qualified or well-trained the slimming experts really are.

Gyms, gyms and more gyms! You could join the aerobic classes, pay someone to train you or train on your own. Gym memberships, unfortunately do not come cheap either and I've not even added the cost of hiring a personal trainer or supplements yet. Someone I knew used to bring home $4000 a month from being a physical trainer and he wasn't one of the better ones at that! The cost of supplements...? I used to spend hundreds on them a month. I wouldn't say it was a good investment for me. But that's just me.

And of course there is always the easy option - plastic surgery. Easy as it is, there are however side effects. For instance, liposuction is not meant for everyone. It will not make you instantly slim. You'd still have to do some form of exercise to get rid of the excess skin. All it does is to remove fat cells from certain body parts and you'd still have to lay off the fatty food. If you don't, the fat deposits from these food would only spread to other parts of your body and you'd look even more um, un-appetizing than you first started.

Being on involuntary vacation these last few months has definitely caused a rampage on my body. All the junk food, all the inactivity... . So what's a poor guy to do to get back in tip top condition? I still want to look good. I don't want to look like a slob. Hey who knows I might meet my knightess in shining pointed JPG bra tomorrow!

Hence the 0530am morning runs. I didn't even do this sort of thing back in the army. Back then I just ran coz I had to. But to feel the morning breeze brushing my face as I run, to feel the muscles tighten as I pound the pavement and the increased heart rate as i come across the occasional female jogger is a familiar feeling to die for. I've not gone mental if that's what you're asking. I didn't even know I missed it that much. The best thing is it's free and I write my own rules.

I decide what time I want to run, where to begin, which direction to go, how many rounds, how long the distance...it's all up to me and it feels good to be in control of my life again, even for half an hour.



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Right, I hope you didn't notice how rubbish my last couple of entries had been. It's really hard to focus or get inspired when your mind is constantly worrying and your heart is sad.

It's 0220 hrs now (I like to use this style to write the time) and as usual for the last 2 months, I can't go to sleep.

I aim to clock at least two 0530 hrs runs each week so that leaves me with 2 and a half hours till then. I'm sure I can put in more runs now that I'm actively unemployed...such a sad, sad situation.

I've also enquired around and got at least 3 good leads for a Financial Planner/Advisor. My criteria is simple. I'm looking for someone who's not out to make a quick buck. There are so many of these people around who'd disappear after making their sale. No follow ups. Nope. Nyet. Nada. You'd be lucky to get a birthday card. What happened to customer service?

I'm intent on making a long term investment using my CPF account and I want someone I can communicate with so as to discuss progress and strategies better. This is after all about money. Both me and my CPF account are sitting on our butts right now and I figure one of us has to go out and earn some money!

I'm also waiting for a few responses on the job front. So far there's a warehousing job, an unspecified job at a hospital (not necessarily medical) and um...that's it. Darn I thought I had more than that going! Whatever the case, I'm adamant to start working by the 13th of January. That means a week from now. I could start now but employers need some time to consider me too. So i guess I got to be patient.



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Being a mentor has never been easy. Being a father figure to a child, taking charge of surbodinates at work, being an elder sibling, etc...all of these require a significant amount of patience or at least some form of endurance.

In general, the youth of today are undoubtedly more privileged than their parents. I'm not discounting the fact that there are still underprivileged people out there but it is obvious to see that more parents emphasize on education for their children.

Please click ME for reference.

This would definitely have a positive impact on the future but for the present to be honest, I'm sure a lot of you are pulling your hair out on a daily basis. I've never been a parent but from my recent experience as an Army sergeant, I sure understand how that feels to a certain extent.

Countless times after barking out an order, I actually found myself having to explain to my men the practicality of having to do what I just ordered them to do. Otherwise they just wouldn't move. Lucky thing I sported a crew cut then.

Children and young people nowadays are more street smart. Gone were the days when parents were absolute monarchs at home. Gone were the days of major bootlicking in the office. Tell them to do anything and you're quite likely to get a heart-wrenching retort.

Another reason that might explain this phenomenon could also be stemmed from a more unconventional approach of upbringing by modern parents. More parents these days also allow their children to speak out. Allowing your children to speak out within reason would enhance your children's self-confidence. However there is a very fine line defining "within reason". Step over this line and you might find your children developing rebellious attributes.

There's no right or wrong in these. It simply depends on your own standpoint. Every person goes through different routes in their lives. Every person has different influences, been to different places and seen different things. It's up to you to write your own future from the things you've learnt from the pass. It's up to you to show them the way.





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Doesn't anyone do anything for love anymore in this day and age?

Doesn't anybody care for the feeling of others any longer?

Have you found yourself asking these before?

A couple of weeks ago I met up with some former schoolmates at a friend's wedding. I don't know why but everytime some guys get together the topic of conversation would always come down to sex. These guys thought it was uncool when I told them I've been practicing celibacy for 4 years! I told them, "Hey I don't know about you but there's a reason why some people refer to sex as making love". I should think they're uncool. At least I don't just follow what everybody does to give them the impression that I'm cool.

There's also the upstairs neighbour. I live in an apartment building on the 2nd floor. One day, to my horror I found out that the laundry belonging to my direct neighbour on the 5th floor was dripping buckets on my clothes. So I trooped upstairs to demand an apology. Hoo boy, was I wrong to think it was going to be that simple. The guy actually retorted in true Singaporean style, "Then you expect me to everytime look downstairs when I want to hang my clothes, ah"?! I mean, DUH. News update...you live in an apartment building. Not some private property...

And then a few days ago I chanced upon an online discussion. The author's virgin girl friend has been going out with this guy for 2 weeks and now he wants sex. Just like that. Like sex comes guaranteed with the package of having a boy-girl relationship. The idiot actually had enough sense of disrespect to pleasure himself in front of her too. What is the girl to him? Another target to conquer? Does he actually love her in the 1st place? Girl, I say FedEx him to Siberia! He's not worth your salt.



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I wasn't too happy at how things went for me today particularly the part where I had to waste some money on my trip back to 702nd Guards. It wasnt't worth it.

I had all of 1 hr 15 mins of sleep this morning. I got up a 6.45am to have breakfast with Sis Lilies' and family before they left for their weekend trip to Sunway Lagoon, Malaysia. That effectively leaves me being the King of the castle for the weekend. Now if only I had a girlfriend...but all I have are 2 hamsters and some fish for company.

I left home 2 hours before I had to report back to camp and I find it amazing that I was still late! This was what happened:

1. Took bus from home to Kovan interchange ($0.80).

2. Switched buses ($1.30).

3. After involuntarily "touring" the whole of Western Singapore (my 1st time, and definitely my last), my bus actually broke down 2 and a half hours after my journey started. It's incredible!

4. Switched buses ($0.90).

5. Alighted at Jurong East interchange. By that time I was already very late. I still had to take a train to Boon Lay about 3 stops away and take another bus from there to the camp which would need at least 45 more minutes.

6. So I decided to grab a cab ($8.40). I was late by 50 mins when I got there!

7. But that was nothing. At the report booth, I was actually ordered by the RSM (regimental sergeant major) to get a haircut. I was thinking, "What haircut"??? The best part was I was even required to fork out $4 for it. It's ridiculous.

*So the total amount of my trip- $15.40, out of the $20 I set aside for my expenses this weekend while they're away. I'm so mad.

The next stage was my fitness test. I've already missed the briefing which the early birds had at the auditorium.

I wouldn't say I breezed through every fitness stations. There were 4 stationary stations and I managed to get top points for all of them before all of us proceeded to the last station...the non-stationary one...the 2.4km run.

Now the rule is, as a Guardsman, I'd have to score 5 points for all 5 stations to get the Gold award ($400). Silver is $200 and a pass is $100. The scoring criteria is a little tougher for us and for the commandos, physical trainers as well as the naval divers.

To get 5 points for the run, I'd have to clock 9 mins 14 sec and below which is absolutely insane. These days, bumming around has made me somewhat sluggish. Of course I didn't get it. None of us did although I came in 4th from the top.

*The cost of 1 point- 200 bucks.

Oh well, it's still money.

I took every opportunity today to ask ev'ryone and anyone if they had any job opening wherever they are working. I am satisfied to come up with a short list of possible jobs as a janitor at a hospital, a job at FedEx as well as one at a warehouse. Better than nothing really. If I don't get any positive response from anyone by next Wednesday, I'm trying out for Cisco Police or even just a security guard. Meanwhile, I'll do a little research on a career with the Police Force. Time is short. I'm drained. It's time to be proactive.

I'm sorry to say that I may even spend less time on the computer. I have to set my priorities straight. I want to make a positive change in my life.

I'm set to go for early morning runs on Mondays and Thursdays so I have to rest early the nights before. It just occured to me that one of my closer army mates live just a junction away from me and he's a fitness buff himself.

I also did mention in a previous post that I'm thinking of setting aside the money I save from quitting cigarettes to take up night classes. I'm set for a paper-chase.

Besides those, I'm also planning to invest the money in my CPF instead of just letting it sit around like that. It's all systems go.

I'd like to learn more on how I can make use of what I have right now to be a better all round person. Of course they do not always have to do with money but I'm all ears and eyes for your view on this.

This year the Phoenix will rise from the ashes.



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Thanks for being here. I'll be back to post my journal on the 4th of Jan 04. I've to rest right now as I am being moblized by the army reserves in a few hours. It's been a while since I met some of my old mates, so be sure that I'd bring back juicy stories for you.

Please feel free to browse around in the meantime.



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Days ago I came across an online discussion about starting a new life.

The author has a great job but he feels that he's only living half a life just so he could pay for the mortgage of his apartment and stash some money for old age when he would rather just sell everything he owns, get a house in Thailand by the sea and trek and fish to his heart's content.

Haven't we all ever asked ourselves the same question?

I know I have. I've been wanting to live and work abroad ever since I was 13! That's all I ever wanted. The original idea was to step out of Singapore with not even a plan and see where my journeys would land me. I was inspired by the seafaring people of yore who'd travel far and wide around the world and settle down anywhere they liked.

They didn't need a visa, they didn't need a passport, they didn't need to be scanned for weapons (some people then had hooks instead of hands so this rule wasn't practical), they didn't need a degree or loads of money, they just went wherever they pleased.

Of course it's too easy to blame the rules and all but the truth is I'm just chicken. Cluck, that's right. Chicken. I'd like to think that I'm just being practical though.

I could just get an air ticket to anywhere and then not come back but that'd make me an illegal immigrant, wouldn't it? I could also pay someone to marry me for convenience or even study abroad but where would I dig out the money?

Oh heck, I could just go. Berzillions of people have done it. Turkish student in London who drives a cab at night, Quebecer working as a tour guide in Disneyland Paris, German industrialist in Shanghai, a brick-laying Indonesian in a Malaysian building project, a Brazilian soccer player in Western Australia, I could go on forever. Some of these people even started off with nothing.

So that brings us back to the fact that i'm just a...chicken. (Ok quit harping on it already!!!)

I still wanna do this. I'm not quitting this country but I just don't see myself having the kind of life that I want here. I want wide, open spaces. I wanna roll in the grass and soak in the sun. I wanna hug real live animals in their natural habitats, I wanna be able to get away for a couple of days whenever I feel like it without having to leave the country. I wanna see trees, trees and more trees. I wanna walk out of the train in one piece. I'd like to be around people who do things for love and passion instead of money..... .

I just want Quality. Of. Life.

I hope to get my degree latest in 4 years as planned. I'm hoping to also save some money in the process. If time and health permit, I'd like to take up courses that offers recognized certificates generically-speaking in IT, maybe even music, join the Social Development Unit (for hopeless singles like me) and also take up driving lessons. I've quit smoking. I'm sure that'd help.

Did you happen to notice that bit on top that says "recognized certificates"?

I sounded like a right Singaporean with that one, didn't I? I'm just trying to be practical. In an ideal world, I'd love to be able to put, "I have a phD from the University of Life" in my resume and get any job I wanted but in this day and age, it just doesn't work.

I'm 25 this year. I hope to achieve all these in 6 years. Only then I'll decide what to do next. By then, I hope to be loaded and ready with the right weapons to advance. (Oh by the way, getting a girlfriend would be nice too. All the 4 years plus of celibacy is driving me up the wall for Chrissakes!)

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This is great. I actually have 2 things to bring up right now and I can't decide on which one. I could talk about my perpetual state of morosity and bore you to death or I could talk about my take on general current affairs.

I think I'll talk about the latter.

I do realize that typing random thoughts on my Blog for all to see won't actually solve the world's problems but I hope that it would at least make a positive itsy bitsy teeny weeny little impact on you.

Note to self: Make it fast. You have a headache.

Note to Blog: "OK".

The world in 2003 has really been a hell of a ride for all of us. It's undeniable. No ifs no buts.

In no particular order there was the 911 aftermath, the increased levels of terrorist activities, Gulf War II, the best rapper in the world is a white guy, the crazy ass SARS outbreak which spared little mercy, HFMD which was a major concern especially among parents, England (who are rubbish at every game they invented) actually won the Rugby World Cup, the bird flu reared its ugly head again in South Korea, earthquakes in Iran and California to name a couple in which tens of thousands were affected, the Fujianese flu and return of the mad cow disease in North America.

Let's take a quick glance at the above paragraph again. Back so fast...? Let's move on then.

Those things that happened can actually be divided into two categories. The ones that we can't control...and the ones that we can.

Allow me to break them into their categories.

Ones that we can't control: SARS, HFMD, the bird flu, the earthquakes, the Fujianese flu and the mad cow disease.

Ones that we can control: Everything else (especially the bit where England won the Rugby World Cup).

I think it's very fair for me to point out that the 2nd category contributes more to the world's overall misery. In fact, I think there are more items in it as well! And the crazy thing is that these are the very things that we can control! These are the things that we, as human beings do to ourselves! These are the things that we can actually do without and we are effectively shooting ourselves in the foot.

Believe it or not, all of us are related in one way or the other... especially now that globalization is rife. A big hug here and a "kiss air" there can go a long way. Everytime you spread a little lovin', a little lovin' gets back to you. So the next time you're thinking of doing something naughty at someone, spread some love instead.

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